10. Gratitude and Blame
First of all, I’d like to thank God.
For what? Everything.
Woke up today? God.
Found a parking spot in town? God.
Didn’t get caught cheating in that group project? God.
Lost the finals? It’s the devil. Or God teaching you “a lesson.”
Ah yes, the classic divine feedback loop: blessings = confirmation, suffering = character development.
Let’s talk about this strange human tendency to always look for someone to thank… or someone to blame. Because apparently, the idea that “things just happen” is more terrifying than ZESA at dinner time.
Why Gratitude Feels Like a Moral Obligation
When life’s going well, we want to show appreciation. But to who?
That feeling — that warm, fuzzy “I should thank someone for this” feeling — is a deeply ingrained emotional reflex. Evolution baked it into our DNA like a good sadza recipe.
Gratitude evolved because it helped build trust and cooperation. You scratch my back, I thank you. Next time I’ll scratch yours. It’s social currency — a way to keep favours flowing and friendships alive.
But what happens when there’s no clear person to thank?
That’s when the brain, in full detective mode, starts looking for a source. A hidden hand. A cosmic benefactor. Enter: The Lord.
Suddenly your exam results aren’t just because you studied. They’re a divine reward.
Your clean bill of health? Not genetics — grace.
Your album flopped? The devil is busy.
We just don’t like randomness. It makes us uncomfortable. If something good happens, we want to trace it to a person, a purpose, or a plan.
And when no person’s around, we’ll invent one.
The Need to Blame (Someone… Anyone… Please)
On the flip side, tragedy strikes and we also want a reason.
House burns down?
Kid gets sick?
That pothole swallowed your tire and your dignity?
We go looking for justice. For an enemy. And when there’s no obvious villain… some people blame God. Others say “it’s part of God’s plan,” which is the same thing but with better PR.
We humans are wired to assign intentionality — it’s called the Hyperactive Agency Detection Device (yes, that’s a real thing). Basically, your brain would rather see a “someone” than a “something.”
Wind blew the door shut? Must be a ghost.
Car broke down? Maybe you skipped tithes.
Your ex left you? Spiritual warfare.
Meanwhile, sometimes… things just suck. No deeper meaning. Just chaos with a side of entropy.
Superstition: When Gratitude and Blame Go Rogue
Ever said “knock on wood”?
Avoided saying something good in case it “jinxes” it?
That’s your gratitude/blame reflex acting up.
We build little rituals around chance events. We say “thank God” for the good and “why, God?” for the bad. We even assign intentions to traffic lights.
It’s the same mental module that helped us survive in tribal societies, but now it’s running loose in the age of Wi-Fi and Uber Eats. Our brains are out here writing scripts for cosmic dramas… and casting God as both hero and anti-hero.
The Divine Credit System: Heads He Wins, Tails You Learn
This system is rigged like a pyramid scheme with incense.
If things go well, God loves you.
If things go terribly, God is testing you.
If things go okay, you must be faithful.
If they don’t go okay, you must be more faithful.
God gets the credit for your wins.
You get the blame for your losses.
And the system loops like a Prosperity Gospel Spotify playlist.
So, Who Should We Thank?
Look, gratitude is beautiful. It makes us nicer, warmer people. It helps us see beyond ourselves.
But maybe… just maybe… we should direct that gratitude toward the people and systems that actually make things better:
- Your parents (even if they still think WhatsApp is the whole internet).
- Your friends who showed up when you needed them.
- The nurse on the night shift.
- The cleaner keeping the ward spotless.
- The scientists who developed the vaccine.
- Yourself — yes, you — for surviving what you never thought you could.
And yes, if you believe in a higher power, by all means, thank them. But maybe don’t let that replace real-world accountability. Don’t thank God for your job while underpaying your maid. Don’t blame Satan for your bad habits when it was really just you and that second pack of cigarettes.
Final Thought: What If Gratitude Doesn’t Need a God?
Maybe the most mature form of gratitude is the one that doesn’t need a supernatural recipient.
Maybe it’s enough to just feel grateful.
To acknowledge that life is fragile, unfair, sometimes beautiful — and you didn’t earn all of it.
But instead of imagining a cosmic scoreboard, you pay it forward.
You help someone else.
You make someone’s day.
You become the thing someone else is thankful for.
Now that’s holy.
I relinquished my religious faith some time ago, yet I continue to find myself deeply envious of the hope sustained by both the devout and the superstitious. There is a psychological reassurance in attributing suffering or misfortune to a higher order or to specific rituals, however irrational they may seem. What I find far more disconcerting is the alternative: that adversity often occurs arbitrarily, without cause or moral logic. The unsettling reality is that events such as being mugged are not necessarily the consequence of failing to perform a protective act—like holding my breath in a dark corridor—but may instead be the result of random, indifferent chance. This existential uncertainty can be extremely frightening.
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