3. Theory of Mind
I used to think I was just nosy.
Like, deeply invested in other people’s business nosy.
But it turns out, I was just born with a brain that’s obsessed with other brains.
Why did she blink like that?
Why did he pause before saying “I’m fine”?
Why is the pastor sweating before the Holy Spirit lands?
Turns out, I was using something ancient and amazing — not gossip.
Not witchcraft.
But a mental superpower called Theory of Mind.
No, it’s not a conspiracy theory.
It’s the thing that lets you peek into someone else’s head — without needing ancestral spirits, prophet oil, or a spy camera from Wish.
So… What Is Theory of Mind?
It’s the ability to understand that other people have minds —
thoughts, desires, intentions — that are separate from yours.
It’s how you know your friend isn’t just being “quiet”…
they’re probably still fuming from that shady comment you made at lunch.
(Yes, Tawanda, they remembered. And no, it wasn’t “just a joke.”)
Babies develop this around age 4.
Before that? Everyone’s just background characters in their universe.
Kind of like how pastors think during sermons.
It’s like your brain has a little “people simulator” running at all times.
A tiny detective trying to figure out what others want, feel, plan… or hide.
And humans love doing this.
So much so that we assign minds to anything — even things that don’t have one.
Storm ruined your wedding? “God must be testing us.”
Your phone freezes? “It’s out to get me.”
Yup. That’s Theory of Mind with a sprinkle of paranoia.
Chimps Might Steal Bananas. Humans Steal Intentions.
Animals can fake stuff.
A chimp might pretend it didn’t see the hidden food.
A dog might act guilty before you even say “bad dog.”
But only humans go full Shakespeare.
“He knows that she knows that I know he’s cheating.”
That’s third-order Theory of Mind.
“I believe that you think your mom thinks your dad thinks I’m too sarcastic.”
That’s… well, that’s my dating life.
This mental onion of nested beliefs lets us:
- Lie convincingly
- Flirt ambiguously
- Gossip like Olympians
- And write novels, plays, and Twitter threads about what someone meant but didn’t say
It’s also the brain software behind religion.
Because if we can imagine other people’s minds…
why not imagine the ultimate invisible mind?
A being who sees all.
Knows all.
Judges all.
And might smite you for skipping tithe.
When Minds Go Missing… or Overload
Here’s where it gets trippy.
People on the autism spectrum often struggle with Theory of Mind.
That means many don’t naturally assign intentions to things like spirits or deities.
Which might explain why atheism rates are higher in autistic populations.
Meanwhile…
People with schizophrenia have too much Theory of Mind.
They find meaning in everything.
That billboard isn’t just advertising Coca-Cola — it’s talking to them.
And religion? It thrives in this sweet spot between not enough and too much.
Enough mind-reading to imagine a god who cares…
Not so much that you start decoding Morse code in microwave beeps.
But Wait… What Does This Have to Do With Belief?
If you believe in a god who:
- Listens to prayers
- Gets mad at sin
- Feels joy when you sing badly in church
…then congratulations. You’re flexing your Theory of Mind.
You’re attributing thoughts, desires, emotions — mental content — to an invisible entity.
Even kids do it.
“God is sad when you don’t share.”
“Grandpa’s watching from heaven, and he saw you break the vase.”
We model divine minds the same way we model human ones.
Because our brains evolved for social survival —
and once you’ve built a mental engine to track 150 humans in your tribe,
why not throw in a god or two?
TL;DR: Why You Think I Think You Think I’m Thinking
Theory of Mind is:
- The engine of empathy
- The basis of belief
- The reason you cringe at texts with no emojis
It explains:
- Why we imagine divine judgment
- Why we’re suckers for stories
- Why we feel watched, even when alone
It’s a feature, not a bug.
An evolutionary hack to navigate complex social worlds.
But like most powerful tools…
it can make gods, ghosts, drama, delusions… and very bad dating decisions.
So the next time you’re overthinking what someone meant by “K.”
Remember:
You’re just running the same mental software that built churches, wrote scriptures, and imagined heaven.
And if that’s not divine comedy…
I don’t know what is.
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